Third Trimester Wrap Up (Week 28 - Week 39)

How far along?  

28 weeks through 39 weeks

Total weight gain/loss:  

Lost 12 pounds -- 125

Gained back too many pounds --160's

Maternity clothes?  

It is so damn hot here in Florida so I've been living in dresses. Some of them are maternity from Pink Blush but quite a few are just non-maternity maxi dresses.

Sleep: 

I used to look forward to sleeping now it is pure misery. I feel like I am doing a performance in the olympics when I try to roll from side to side. I wake up every 1-2 hours to go to the bathroom. Braxton hicks are a normal occurrence throughout the night. 

The only part of the night that I love is feeling my baby boy kick around - it seems that he likes to be awake around 2am so it'll be interesting to see if he is the same once he gets here. 

Best moments from second trimester:  

Continuing to feel my sweet baby boy move around. 

Our doctor appointments - I love hearing his heartbeat & just being assured that all these crazy hormones & aches/pains are normal. 

Our maternity photos. 

Our baby shower. 

Our ultrasound at 35 weeks - we had it because he is measuring 2 weeks ahead so we had to confirm his size. 

Finishing baby boy's nursery. 

Our mini vacation to the beach condo. 

Have you told family and friends: 

A long time ago ! They are all so pumped & cannot wait until he is here.  

Miss Anything?  

Being able to shave my legs & actually see where I am shaving. All I have to say is... God should have stopped hair growth during pregnancy not amp it up. 

Fitting into small clothes & feeling 'normal' and not having so much pain.  

The flexibility to easily cut & paint my toenails.   

A nice, chilled, ice coca cola or Dr. Pepper. 

Being able to layout in the blasting hot sun & getting a super tan. 

Movement:

Absolutely. 

He is super active all the time now & because he is getting so big, it physically hurts most times. I still love for his movements & when I don't feel him, I push around and he kicks me back. He is so strong & facing down.  

 
Food cravings:  

Chick Fil A Fries & Sauce 

Iced Sprite 

Popsicles 

Freezing cold water (I typically hate cold water)

Homemade coffee milkshake

Van's Gluten Free Blueberry waffles with PB & Jelly 

Iced Orange Juice 

Anything making you queasy or sick: 

Raw & Cooked Meat. 

Veggies. 

Have you started to show yet:  

Haha !! Just call me big momma. I love this growing belly of mine. It is strange because even though I feel uncomfortable & still unsure of all these sudden changes with my body, I feel like I feel the most secure that I have felt in a long time. I kind of feel like I can wear what I want, when I want & it is okay. 

Gender prediction: 

Sweet baby boy !! 

Labor Signs: 

Lots of braxton hicks contractions but no actual signs of labor.  And I've been getting awful pains in my lower stomach & back - they stop me dead in my tracks and are awful. As I am getting closer to the end of my pregnancy, I am also feeling swelling and pressure in private areas; sometimes it feels like someone drop kicked it down a football field & put it back on my body. 

As much as I wish I wasn't in pain & miserable a lot of the time, I am thankful that my baby & body are preparing for departure. ha!  

Belly Button in or out? 

The linea nigra line on my tummy is very dark now due to laying out in the sun for a week on our vacation. And my belly button, well... lack thereof is starting to poke out. 

At 36 weeks, my belly button popped out !! 

Wedding rings on or off? 

On

Happy or Moody most of the time: 

Anxious. The closer we get, the more overwhelmed & scared I am. My moods are all over the place, kind of like my thoughts. I am terrified of surgery

 & even more terrified of postpartum. 

Looking forward to:

Our baby boy being born - we had to schedule a c-section because he is a very big baby & a vaginaly delivery is no longer safe anymore. 

Here are some pictures: 

The day of baby boy was born - July 12, 2018. 

Brantley's Birth Story

For Brantley's birth we had a scheduled c-section due to his estimated weight & my body not having the ability to physically delivery him vaginally. 

On July 11, the day before his birth I spent the day just getting ready & I was super emotional. It is truly such a crazy feeling knowing that you have a date scheduled to meet your baby. And I was honestly so terrified of having surgery because I knew it was going to be an extremely difficult recovery.

On July 12, I woke up around 3am to get a shower & finish packing my hospital bag. It was such a strange feeling leaving the quiet house knowing that when we came home we would be with our sweet baby boy. 

We  got to the hospital at 5:00am & they checked me in and took me to the pre-surgery area. I got undressed & into my gorgeous hospital gown, hooked up to IV's, drank a super disgusting drink to balance the acid levels in my stomach & got hooked up to the monitors for the baby & I. Turns out I was having big contractions which I had been having for about a month and I had no clue it was a real contraction. Kevin got to put on some scrubs & took some pictures of the two of us - our last photos of just him & I before we met our baby. Slowly over the next hour & a 1/2, the doctors all made their rounds to talk to me about surgery & the plan for the birth of our sweet baby boy. The closer that it got to 7:30am, the more anxious & nervous that I became. 

At 7:30am, they had me walk into the freezing cold, stark white operating room. Kevin had to wait outside of the operating room. Once I got into there, they had me sit on the operating table with the back of my gown open. The nurse had me lean forward into her as the doctors prepped my back & the medications for my spinal tap. For a few minutes it seemed as though they were struggling to get the placement right & all of a sudden I heard the doctor say - she has a tiny bit of scoliosis. I had no clue that I did so that made me even more scared that something would go wrong - I just remember saying everything is going to be okay, right to the nurse. After a few more minutes & a ton of pinching and burning, the spinal tab was done & they had me lay down on the table. They placed in the catheter which was super uncomfortable - physically & also the fact that my legs were wide open in front of several people. 

After the catheter was placed, my legs started to go numb - this was absolutely the worst for me & this was when my anxiety immediately kicked in. I kept having to remind myself to not move my legs at all because the minute I moved them my anxiety sky rocketed. I remember getting really cold so they placed a super warm blanket over the top of me. The doctor for the anesthesia was right behind my head the entire time. He held my hand & helped me stay as calm as he could.

They finally let Kevin back into the operating room & it felt like a million years had passed without him. He sat to the left side of me & we waited on the doctor to come in. I stayed pretty quiet the entire time because I was scared & honestly felt like shit. As soon as Dr. T came in, he wanted to play some music & to my surprise, it was reggae. As soon as I heard it come on, I smiled & it seemed to settle me a little because we got married in Jamaica so it felt so special. 

At this point, I had the blue sheet in front of my face so I couldn't see a thing. I knew that surgery started because I started to feel a lot of tugging & pulling. I also remember smelling this awful burning smell -- similar to the smell when they cauterize skin. The doctor called out over the sheet yup you're all baby there is barely any fat here. I kept asking the anesthesiologist if it was almost time to meet the baby & he kept saying yes. Kevin & I just kept staring at each other, just waiting to hear our baby's cry... & the tugging and pulling on my stomach was so bad !!  

At 8:06 am we heard the sweet beautiful cry come from our baby boy & within a few seconds after that they raised our angel boy above the blue curtain. He was absolutely the cutest baby I have ever seen in my entire life. Kevin & I immediately started crying.. it was the best day. In 18 years, I have never seen Kevin cry that way. After the baby was born, I started to go downhill - nausea, dizzy/faint feeling & high anxiety. I felt so awful that I wasn't able to do skin-to-skin & it made me sad because I wanted that so badly. I remember just laying there & Kevin was with the baby & nurses at the weighing/heat station. They yelled out that he weighed 7lbs 10oz which was a lot smaller then they estimated (they said he would be around 9.5/10 lbs) - he was only 1 ounce less then my birth weight. 

After doing the health check, they brought Brantley all bundled up & Kevin sat right next to me again. Tears just streamed from my face as I looked at Kevin hold him. He was the most precious, beautiful, healthy baby that I ever laid my eyes on. I just kept stroking his soft chubby cheeks in awe of how amazing God is. My prayers came true & he was a dream. After a few minutes of the three of us being together, Kevin & baby went to the nursery (our moms were there & once they heard the lullabye over the speaker, they heard to the nursery behind the glass window to see Brantley). While they were in the nursery, they finished up my surgery. 

I got wheeled to recovery & I remember asking for my baby... so they brought Brantley to me. We finally got to do skin-to-skin together & I attempted to breastfeed. Still in complete awe, I couldn't believe that we created this sweet beautiful, healthy baby boy. We stayed in recovery for a bit - my anxiety levels weren't as bad at this point and I absolutely still could not move the lower half of my body. I was so incredibly itchy all over - I kept scratching my face nonstop because of the pain medications that they gave to me. 

After recovery, I don't remember being wheeled to my hospital room & truly I don't really remember a lot about the rest of that day. We had visitors come throughout the day & I continued to hold our sweet boy and continue with my attempts at breastfeeding. 

As wonderful as this day was, I cannot help but be sad because I struggle to remember every second of the day. It was a day that I never wanted to forget but because of having surgery, the day has become a bit of a fog. Luckily, the parts I do remember are the most important parts & they will be the most special moments I will ever have. The moments I cannot remember photos were taken so they will last forever. 

Brantley Emory Raulerson

7lbs 11oz. 

20 inches long 

8:06am

Hospital Photos

Birth Plan Flipped Upside Down

People always say not to have a birth plan that is set in stone because things can go way differently than you plan. When I got pregnant, I truly wanted to have the most natural birth as I could. I have more of a fear for medicines then I do of actual pain, so not having any intervention during labor was something I had a strong desire for. 

After the months went on being pregnant, the braxton hicks & contractions began and I thought well, maybe I won't be strong enough to do this without medicine. And I thought what if I get so far into labor, to the point where I cannot have an epidural & realize I can't do it.

While I had a strong desire for the most natural birth, I had the most intense fear of what the hell was going to happen to my lady parts. How in the hell would I birth a baby.. and then how would I pee, would it hurt to poop & would it go back to the same as it was before being pregnant? 

The thoughts that ran through my head literally kept me awake at night. 

At 32 weeks, I was measuring perfectly fine & right on schedule. At my 34 weeks appointment - we found out that our baby had a total growth spurt & I was now measuring 2 weeks ahead. I had a feeling that he was doing a good amount of growing because my stomach was ginormous & I was in constant pain. The braxton hicks contractions were out of control, the back pain was unbearable & I felt so much pressure down below. 

So the doctor scheduled us for an ultrasound since my stomach size is greater than my delivery date. So at our ultrasound (35 weeks pregnant), we found out that the baby was quite large with an estimated weight of 7.5lbs. 

I immediately burst into tears & asking if I was going to be okay. At this point in my pregnancy, my baby is growing an average of 1/2 lb. a week, so if I had 5 weeks left that would mean my baby would be damn near close to 10lbs. by his due date. The ultrasound tech looked right at Kevin & told him he better get me the best push gift. And I left the appointment feeling completely in the dark of what was to come... & we had our 36 weeks appointment the following week & that is when my birth plan took a total turn. 

The doctor said that at this point it was unsafe to deliver vaginally & I could risk tearing all the way into my rectum. Um.. come again!! She said that if I delivered at 36 weeks I could try to deliver vaginally but it was likely to end up in c-section. With all the risks involved with my lady parts & butthole region & any stress that my baby could possibly go through, I scheduled my c-section to meet my baby boy. 

Part of me was relieved - my lady parts & butthole area will all stay intact & it won't hurt nearly as bad to go to the bathroom. But the other part of me was terrified for another reason - having major surgery. Surgery using medicines that I fear. An incision that will impact my body greatly. Tons on my mind - will it hurt to walk & go to the bathroom? How long until I heal? Will the pain take over my entire life & I won't be able to enjoy my new baby? Will I ever feel like myself again after the surgery? 

I don't want to wish my life away or the delivery & first weeks of my baby but part of me just wants to skip through all the pain of surgery & birth of my baby because of fear. The fear of surgery is taking a lot of the excitement away from me & I feel guilty for that. I said from day one that I would do whatever I had to in order to have a healthy baby. So if that means c-section, then that is what I will be doing.  

We will be meeting our baby in 11 days -- unless he decides to come early which I hope he doesn't because I don't like surprises much & I would like to have one more set schedule before he comes. Until then, I will be praying that everything goes smoothly - that my baby is healthy & my recovery isn't awful. 

A Letter to My Baby

Dear Brantley, 

As we come down to the last final weeks of you being in mommy's tummy, I wanted to write you a letter. In the beginning of my pregnancy with you, we went through a few big scares together. It was scary & I worried about you so much but you proved early on that you are a fighter. As the weeks went by, you continued to grow & so did my heart. 

I prayed to God every single day that you would continue to grow strong & healthy and stay put until it was close to your due date. 

In the beginning when I felt you move, it felt like you were a tiny little butterfly. You started to get bigger and stronger & no longer felt like a butterfly but more like a karate instructor. When you move around in my tummy, I will give you a little poke and you always poke me back... almost like you're telling me that everything is still going alright in there. You moving all around is my most favorite part of being pregnant with you - something just you & I experience together and no one else. 

With every kick & punch from you, I cannot help but daydream about what you will look like - will you look like me or will you look like your daddy? So far you're proving that you have your daddy's gene's because you're a big boy which means you might get to meet us a little sooner than we planned. 

While you've been in my tummy, I've tried my very best to keep you safe & healthy and I promise to do the same thing when you are welcomed into my arms.

We promise lots of things but here are a few...
... to always keep your safe & protect you from evil.
... to make you laugh & strive to keep you happy.
... to accept & love you for who you are.
... to always be in your corner.

You're a dream come true, Brantley. We cannot wait to meet you.

Our Baby Shower for Brantley

Our baby shower was a day that I looked forward to for so long. A day where we celebrate our baby boy with the people we love & who love our baby. My mom planned the entire party & she did the most wonderful job - it was purley adorable for a baby boy. She handmade all the decorations & setup everything so beautifully. 

It was a day that I know Kevin & I will never forget. We are so blessed with the most amazing family & friends. We got so many wonderful gifts that we cannot wait to put to use when Brantley is here.