Turned Around & You Were Gone...

"Treasured in my heart you'll stay, until we meet again some day."

It has been months since my Dad passed away & to be honest, most days it still doesn't seem real that he is actually gone. For the most part, I find myself feeling so frustrated. Frustrated that I cannot find a way at making this whole thing seem "real". 

My Dad had a written will that stated his wishes on what he wanted when he passed away. One of his wishes was to be cremated. After his cremation, he wanted them to be spread out in the Gulf with his favorite beer (Coors Light). 

So about a month ago, we fulfilled his wishes. We (My step-mom, sister, husband, and I) chartered a boat & cruised out into the Gulf. It was bittersweet- It was our last goodbye. Our first few miles on the water, we noticed that we were being followed by a sweet little dolphin. My first thought was, that is a sign from my Dad... that he was with us. 

We found a nice calm spot in the ocean to drop the anchor. We waited to the sun to go down. Cranked up some good ole country music, which if you knew my Dad, then you know that he loved jamming out to country music. And then we said our goodbyes...  

The day turned out to be perfect- perfect weather & sunset... with plenty of signs that he was there with us. 

My Dad would have enjoyed the day so much if he was with us. And I know that he was watching over us with a huge smile. 

Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I so badly that I could go back in time & change everything that happened. There are days when I wish I could remove the image I have in my mind that I constantly get of the day he passed away; but at the same time, I am thankful that I was resting my head by him when he took his last breathe. 

I miss you Dad, always & forever...