I love my baby but... First Trimester Was Hard.

First Trimester: Week 1 - Weeks 12 

Kevin & I started trying for a baby in August & in October we got pregnant!! Truly I had no clue that I was pregnant because I was so caught up on feeling like crap. I was having severe pressure in my butthole (TMI -- I know!) & was in the bathroom all day everyday. And was throwing up quite a bit at night time while trying to eat dinner - this wasn't a shock to me because I have food issues. After being miserable long enough, I made an appointment with a gastro doctor. 

[4 weeks pregnant] I had decided to take a pregnancy test because I was several days late for my period. I had five minutes before a meeting started & decided to take a test. Well... to my surprise it was POSITIVE. I waited my entire life for this!! I walked in & out of the bathroom a million times, just looking at the test because it seemed unreal. 

I called Kevin & told him that I needed him to come home as soon as he got off because I had something to tell him. In the meantime, I setup a little onesie & a book with the positive pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter... and got back to work. 

In a matter of thirty minutes, Kevin was running into the house. I sent him on his way to the bathroom & he saw the wonderful news!! He said he knew because I had been so sick. Glad he did because I had no clue!!  We were both so emotional & incredibly happy. 

So back to the butt issues - I had 8 stool samples (yup, you read that right), blood work & 24 hours of urine monitoring. And it turns out it is just all part of this pregnancy journey. Add nausea, vomiting, complete exhaustion (like I was drugged with benadryl), breaking out on my entire body, hair growth (everywhere), food aversions & major mood swings. 

Two major things happened to me during the first trimester: a cyst on my ovaries & a subchorionic hemorrhage. [6 weeks pregnant] One weekend I started to have a tiny bit of blood on my panties & when I wiped. At the time I thought it was a lot but looking back it was nothing. [7 weeks pregnant] During our pregnancy confirmation appointment. I told the doctor about the spotting but baby seemed to be perfectly fine with a strong heartbeat (163 bpm). This is where the doctor noticed my large cyst on my ovaries which was causing my a lot of discomfort. She said we would keep an eye on it throughout my pregnancy. 

A few days after my appointment - I felt a pop in my vagina while I was standing in the kitchen. I ran to the bathroom & started gushing blood. It was coming out of my so fast that it sounded like I was peeing but I wasn't. I started freaking out crying wondering if I lost the baby I had prayed so hard for. I called my mom & Kevin - they both rushed out of work & headed my way. I spoke with the nurse at the doctor's office & she told me to go to the ER since my bleeding was so heavy & with large blood clots. On the way to the ER I was numb. When we got to the ER - they did an ultrasound & my baby was still there & with a strong heartbeat. After all that my baby was okay; with no explanation at all as to why that happened to me. 

Exactly a week later, it happened again. This time it was all followed with severe cramping. Again, I thought that I lost my sweet baby. I was completely devastated. This time rather than going to the ER, I went to my doctor. I trusted her most & knew she was the one that I needed to see. The baby was fine again with a stronger heat beat then the week before. Turns out, I have a subchorionic hemorrhage that was not spotted the week before during my ER visit. The separation showed blood still so it was likely that my body would absorb it or the bleed would happen again. Only time would tell - I spotted brown  for about 3 weeks after this episode. 

I prayed so hard for God to wrap his arms around my sweet baby & protect it from everything and keep it healthy and growing. God answered my prayers thus far. This experience has set a fear in me like no other - I didn't leave the house for the majority of the first trimester; due to fears of it happening again. 

They will continue to monitor my pregnancy & praying to God everyday that my body absorbs the cyst and the hemorrhage. 

First Trimester Weight Gain/Loss: 

Lost 12 pounds -- 125

Gained back 3 pounds - 128

Maternity Clothes: 

I went shopping for maternity jeans with my mom at Kohl's. All my clothes fit still except for the waist of my jeans; this bloating is no joke! 

Sleep: 

What is sleep? I am super uncomfortable, my mind never shuts off & I toss and turn all night long. 

Best moments of First Trimester: 

Seeing our baby via ultrasound, hearing its fast heartbeat & telling our family about the wonderful news.

Have  you told family & Friends: 

I told my mom super early on with a onesie & a book with a letter from baby. My secret videoing capabilities are horrible. Ha!  

My sister I told with a onesie. And our family we told on Christmas Day with little Christmas tree bulbs that said Baby Raulerson July 2018. 

Kevin told him mom before Thanksgiving but he kept it a secret from me & on Christmas we gave her a mug that said 'Nana'. His Dad we gave him a fishing lure that said 'Fishing Buddy Coming Soon' & a onesie. 

Miss Anything: 

Coffee. 

Feeling decent about myself. 

Not being uncomfortable & sick. 

Sleep.

Movement: 

I thought that I had a little flutter but it only happened a few times & they were not consistent. The baby is always super active at our appointments. On one of our visits the doctor was trying to get a picture for us & every single time she snapped the picture the baby would flip -- stubborn already. Ha! 

Food Cravings: 

Pickles, Olives, Chips, Van's Blueberry waffles, Vegan Mac & Cheese, Sprite, Grapes, Gala/Honeycrisp Apples. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: 

Meat & Veggies. 

Coffee.

Raw meat. 

All nasty smells. 

Have you started to show yet: 

Super bloated. 

Gender Prediction: 

Deep down I feel like it is a boy but when people ask me... I have no clue why. Kevin & both sides of our entire family think it is a girl. 

Labor Signs: 

n/a

Belly Button in or out: 

Still in. 

Weddings rings on or off: 

On 

Happy or Moody most of the time: 

All the above + overwhelmed, tired, anxious, depressed, etc... You name it, I've felt it. 

Looking forward to:

More ultrasounds, to find out the baby's gender, for the weeks to pass (baby to grow big & healthy) & my belly to grow. 

So far pregnancy has been a trillion times harder then I could have ever imagine but I am forever grateful. We're super thankful for this amazing gift God has given us. We've prayed long & hard for this. My prayer is for a healthy & beautiful baby. And for my health to stay healthy throughout this pregnancy journey.